Princess Cica Controls You

I know many of you are in tough times, financially speaking. And I have a solution to the question "how on earth can I afford to give Princess all the money She deserves?"

 

1. Start off by downsizing! Get rid of the girlfriend and big apartment. Settle into something smaller, and find a roommate to help you with the bills.

2. Get yourself a special account just for Me, and collect money in it. At the end of the month, hand it all over!

3. BEG BITCH.

4. Stop spending your money on luxuries for yourself! No cigarettes or Starbucks. No going out for drinks with your friends.

5. Sell that shit you've got laying around at home and give Me the profits!

6. Sell your CAR, and take the bus. Better yet, GET A BICYCLE. You probably need the exercise anyways.

7. Get thrifty and start using coupons for everything you purchase for yourself.

8. Go to food pantries! They give you free food, so get all your grocery shopping done that way! Now you have even more money for Me!

9. How much exactly is your phone bill? Get rid of that fancy phone and get a simple one!

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From here on out, the only time you should be broke is after I've taken every penny from your accounts.